$4 per Gallon Gas is Here...

I was driving carpool, taking the kids to school the other day, and saw my first sign with self-serve regular unleaded over $4/gallon. It was a bit of a shock. I suddenly felt that the measly 25 miles my car squeezes out of a gallon of gas is woefully inadequate, and envy for my neighbor, whose new diesel jetta gets over 40 mpg. As a new car isn't in the budget, I guess I'll have to keep flogging the gas guzzler a bit longer, taking a little solace in the fact that this is the most expensive gas station in the neighborhood, reassuring myself that high gas prices are a good reminder that we are consuming a finite resource.

Sidney McCain is a Gay Sadomasochistic Communist!

It seems like the right wing is getting pretty scared lately. The democrats finally have a candidate that not only is intelligent, but also comes with a heaping dose of charisma. In response, Fox "news" and the rest of the GOP echo chamber has been feebly trying to stoke fears that Obama is a secret Muslim terrorist by incessantly repeating his middle name, and by noting that Obama rhymes with "Osama". Cute. I can't imagine that this is very effective among people with the capacity to think, as you couldn't come up with worse "Manchurian Candidate" strategy. I can see Al-Qaeda planning it now:

Bin Laden: "I think we need to get one of our own into the oval office."

Al-Zawahiri: "Yeah, lets use a black guy. They've never elected one before, so they'll never expect it!"

Bin Laden: "Okay, but to be extra sneaky, I want his last name to rhyme with my first name."

Al-Zawahiri: "Hey, that's cool. And we can make his first name rhyme with my last name!"

Bin Laden: "Idiot! Those Americans will see through that in a second. No, we have to be clever here."

Saddam: "Uh, I know we don't have any relationship and all, but it would be a nice "fuck you" to the Bush family if you could see your way clear to working my name into it."

Bin Laden: "The infidel has a point here. How about Hussein Obama?"

Al-Zawahiri: "No, no, too easy. 'Hussein' means 'chosen one'. They'll see through it, and recognize him as a plant to win the presidency. No we have to be clever. Lets make Hussein his middle name, and give him a fucked-up first name to throw off the American dogs."

Saddam: "How about Barack?"

Bin Laden: "Perfect!"

And so the worst terrorist plan ever was hatched. Ridiculous.


Still though, the incessant repetition of "Hussein Obama" and "Hussein Osama" by racist douchebags like this got me thinking: what is John McCain's middle name, and what does it say about him? When I dug into it, I was astounded.


John Sidney McCain III is a homosexual communist that is into S&M! No kidding! The facts don't lie, and if you think about it for a minute, it all makes sense. First of all, he is a member of the Republican party, a group notorious for harboring closeted gay men. Toe-tapping Senator Larry Craig, page-chasing Congressman Mark Foley, and park-prowling Florida State Representative Bob Allen come immediately to mind. Then of course is his propensity for physical contact with men. For example, here he is hugging some Vietnamese guy:



Here he is holding hands with Joe Lieberman:



and seconds later...



But that relationship lasted only a short time, as McCain dumped Lieberman for W:



This relationship blossomed, and they sneaked away to Massachusetts for a small, private ceremony:




They seemed like such a happy couple at the wedding, here they are enjoying their first dance:



But alas, it wasn't meant to be. The relationship slipped into the doldrums:



Of course they tried spicing things up:



But in the end, Sydney started stepping out:



But these pictures are only part of the story. When searching the internet for evidence of Sydney's gayness, I stumbled across this bombshell:



Make no mistake, the guy in the picture looks an awful lot like a young Sydney McCain in a Soviet naval uniform, and as far as I know, it is. Worse, Sydney is hugging Fidel Castro, which I surmise must have been an old flame of Sydney's.

So there you have it, McCain's middle name is "Sydney," a gay name if I've ever heard one, he is a Republican, which is a party notorious for gayness (ever heard of log cabin democrats? I think not!), he likes wrapping his arms around men, and he lifted his nickname, "Maverick," from the gayest movie ever made. Oh yeah, and "McCain" rhymes with "pain," (much like Obama rhymes with Osama), so he must also be into S&M. So next time one of your Republican friends busts out a "Hussein Obama," you might want to ask them how well they really know Sydney McCain.

What is Hillary Hiding?

It is well known that Hillary has yet to release her tax returns, and previously has stated that she would release them upon becoming the Democratic nominee. Given that this is now becoming an issue in the campaign, why does she continue to wait? What magic does "on or around April 15th" hold, thereby preventing an earlier release that could squelch criticism? Why has her campaign become defensive when the issue is mentioned? I have absolutely no idea, but I can speculate.

Given that her returns will show her sources and amount of income, obviously there is something there that she deems advantageous to keep quiet for the time being. Given that she recently loaned her campaign a boatload of money, it would be unsurprising to see a large income. So what else is there? I doubt it is anything too serious, but given her earlier intent to hold off on the release until locking up the nomination, it is likely something that could harm her in the primary race. Perhaps the amount of her income is so obscenely large that it would alienate blue collar voters? Or maybe a source of her past income is an unsavory sweat-shop running corporation, the disclosure of which would drive away a large swath of democrats? If you put your mind to it, you could probably think of a few more, but it really doesn't matter. What does matter is that she is hiding something, and she would rather we not know until it is too late. Frankly, I find it a bit disturbing.